Breakups are tough. You may feel sad, angry, even determined to get back together. You may feel overwhelming relief and excitement at starting a new chapter in your life. But these emotions are tied to your ex. You need to get focusing on number one.
Starting a new relationship after a breakup is difficult unless you’ve completely discharged all the hurt from the past. Taking time for yourself is key and will help you close that chapter in your life.
How do you know when you’re ready to date again?
- You don’t feel the need to be in a relationship – you’re perfectly content in yourself and to be on your own. A new partner would be wonderful – but is not essential.
- You are no longer thinking about your ex.
- You can picture yourself being in a happy relationship with someone new.
- You focus on yourself and are able to find internal happiness.
But is there such a thing as it being ‘too soon’ to get back out there on the dating scene?
This timeframe is different for everyone. It depends heavily on how long you were in the relationship and how fully invested you were in your partner. Some relationships are long gone before the initial ‘breakup’, which allows the individual to heal even while still in the relationship. They can then move on as soon as they detach themselves from the ‘exclusive’ label. But rather than adhering to a ‘timeframe’ per se, you should only consider getting back out there once you feel ready.
Tips for post-breakup dating
If you start dating too soon after a breakup, you may find yourself comparing each new person to your ex. It’s important to adopt a positive mindset when getting back into dating. A positive mindset leads to positive behavior, which in turn increases your chances of a positive outcome. So what can you do to ensure a healthy transition from flying solo to once again getting serious with that special someone?
- Take time to reflect on the positive attributes of your ex. Write these down in two lists, positive and negative. Repeat for all your exes. Then compose a list of your core values. From here, you can define on paper the type of person you should really be looking for. This will bring you a sense of empowerment and focus and will steer you towards a healthy, lasting relationship.
- Ask yourself if you’re ready. It may take longer to heal than you initially realize, depending on your situation. Romance deserves time, and your relationships in the future will be all the better for it.
- Do not talk about your ex during the first date. Even if your date does this, don’t follow suit. The last thing you want to do is make it seem like you’re stuck in the past and unable to move on.
- Define your self-worth. If you are still dependent on your ex for whatever reason, it makes sense to take some time to define yourself as an individual once again. Think about what makes you a truly great individual, what traits you have that make you unique, special. What would make a new partner consider themselves truly lucky to be with you?
You can find love again
Here at The Vida Consultancy, our network of some of the world’s most exceptional singletons consists of people from all manner of backgrounds. Some have found love before, only for it not to have worked out. But that’s okay.
Our highly trained matchmakers are expert in relationships and dating. We are here to help you ‘get back on the horse’ and embrace the dating scene with gusto – because there are fewer more exciting feelings than that moment you realize you’re falling for someone.
Love won’t wait for you, and romance is out there. Learn to let go of the past – and let us help you to help yourself do this. It can take time, but our matchmakers are ready to guide you, as and when you are ready, through the trials and tribulations of love, with our unique and incredibly efficient compatibility profiling sessions, making it likelier than ever before that your quest for love will end in fireworks. Don’t hesitate any further, get in touch to speak with us today.