It’s no secret that relationships take work.
If there were never any problems or issues in your relationship, it would never grow, never adapt and it would never develop into anything of value. To value a relationship, there needs to be a strong sense of communication with your partner.
You need to disagree with each other, you need to raise difficult issues if they are placing a strain on the relationship and you should want to learn about your partner’s deepest values, insecurities and worries. It would become stale and the lack of communication and energy between you would slowly tear it apart, leaving you wondering why you were together in the first place.
Relationships rely on the imperfections of people, none of us are perfect, if we were, relationships would be pretty boring. Imperfections allow us to grow and evolve into the people we and our partners want to be.
While there are several elements combined that make a relationship work, the most important always rounds down to…
Communication is one of the strongest (if not the strongest) building block of any relationship. You need to be able to open up about any issues that are bothering you, or believe are causing a strain on the relationship. Sometimes daily life troubles can overflow into our love lives and cause issues that would have otherwise been avoided if there was clear communication.
If you’re stressed about work, talk about it, if you’re going through financial difficulties, talk about it or if you’re just having a bad day, talk about it! Neither of you are mind readers, which is why it’s important to talk to each other about how you’re feeling.
The branches of communication
Communication remains at the forefront of a successful relationship, but there are other branches that help support a relationship.
Acknowledgement always comes hand in hand with communication. Manners maketh man, simply expressing thanks is enough to show your gratefulness and support for your partner. Reciprocation is an important part of acknowledgement, both of you need to positively communicate your appreciation for the little things you do for each other.
Understanding each other’s worries, concerns, grievances and expectations is an important stepping stone in any relationship. You will both need to learn to accept each other in order for you both to grow. Talk openly about where you are in your relationship and accept any minor flaws or shortcomings that you or your partner have experienced and move on. Acceptance is a key part in the progression of a relationship and voicing it will make for a more open and honest relationship.
Honesty and trust
Honesty and trust are again, core pillars of any relationship. When you have a partner you can rely on, everything becomes less stressful and you are able to live your life freely without worrying about your partner. Again, a part of this comes down to communicating your thoughts and feelings regularly, this is where the trust comes in. Even if you need to raise a sensitive or difficult issue, if you trust the person, they are more willingly and likely to understand and respect your opinion.
Relationships aren’t easy, and that’s okay!
And that’s why working towards making them work is so rewarding. If you do feel your relationship has become stale or is lacking a certain spark that made it so special at the beginning, don’t panic this is completely normal. Sometimes, we become so comfortable and confident around the person we’re with that we fall into a routine that’s hard to break.
If you are experiencing a bit of a lull, try doing the following:
Ask yourself why you’re with that person
This may sound scarier than intended but it’s definitely worth revisiting. Ask yourself why you are still with that person, what drew you to them in the first place? What are their qualities? Do you still value them? Has anything changed to alter your opinion of them?
Reassessing these values is an important step towards confirming that you are still dedicated to continuing the relationship. You might find it helpful to ask your partner what they like about you and anything they don’t or qualities you could improve on. Being open to their thoughts and opinions is important (and vice versa), as constructive criticism is important for self-improvement.
Talk it out
Again, communication is so important to maintaining a healthy relationship. If there is a problem, or something you are concerned about, it’s important to approach the matter in the right way. When talking openly about a topic of interest, be considerate and understanding of your partner’s response and opinion. Don’t approach the topic aggressively and don’t rush into talking about topics that require a sensitive approach.
You may want to begin by asking about their day and then move onto the topic in question. Try to avoid raising the topic in anger or in stressful situations, as these talks require a degree of levelheadedness.
Spice it up, do something fun and special!
Slipping into relationship mundanity is often inescapable and it’s not necessarily a bad thing. Once you get comfortable with someone, you may fall into a routine that isn’t necessarily boring, it’s comfortable but not that exciting. Break out of your routine and do something exciting, visit your favorite restaurant, go on a spontaneous mini-break to Mexico, take dancing lessons, go sky diving, or just take a walk somewhere.
It doesn’t have to be anything extraordinary, it’s simply about making a choice and following through with it. It may be just what your relationship needs to reignite the spark.
Personalized consultations and bespoke matchmaking from Vida
Relationships require work, we all know that. It requires the combined efforts of two mature and committed people who truly believe in each other and the future of their partnership.
At Vida, we specialize in helping people find their perfect match by combining personalize consultations with bespoke matchmaking. We alleviate the time and stress of finding a partner by hand-selecting eligible individuals from out exclusive offline network based on your profile and preferences.
Inquire about your membership today and arrange your personalized consultation with your chosen matchmaker.