This article is all about how to rekindle love and bring back the spark. When you’re in a long-term relationship or marriage, it can be really easy to become super complacent.
Most of the time the shift is so gradual and subtle that you can wake up one day and recognize that your love is missing… something.
Imagine the scenario: You’re quite satisfied, comfortable even, in where you are. You think, “I don’t need to make the effort, like I did in the beginning”. You think, “my partner likes me the way I am, and how we are together”.
You know what? You may be right. Your partner probably does love how you both are with one another: the dynamic you have and the super comfy life you have, safe in the knowledge that neither of you are going anywhere anytime soon.
However, what you probably won’t realize is that this comfort can make your relationship quickly spiral to the point where it becomes stale and tired.
‘Stale!?’ I hear you cry.
Yes, boring. Musty. Stale.
In fact, one of the biggest relationship killers is simply, complacency.
Essentially, we often fail to show our significant other’s how much we care about them. I mean, they put up with our mood swings, bad days and bickering. It can mean a lot to receive a small act of kindness and love.
In fact, it is commonplace for long-term couples to become complacent in the knowledge that you are in a monogamous relationship and that is how it will always be. We end up taking our other half massively for granted and become lazy. We get into a lackluster routine, with a certain banality.
The unfortunate truth is that when the relationship transitions from actively wanting each other, to needing to be together – the excitement dissolves rapidly, ultimately resulting in the deterioration of spontaneity, fun and sooner or later, overall happiness.
Continually evolve and invest in the relationship to rekindle love.
We value more what we invest in. When we look after something, look to develop and take care, we instinctively become more attached to it. This is the same with relationships, and as soon as we start neglecting ourselves and the relationship, you unconsciously care less.
In order to rekindle the spark, we need to continually improve and grow: surprise your partner on occasion and show them that you are growing as a person. Try and look for new ways to make progress within the relationship.
When was the last time you surprised your significant other at lunch or after work (have you ever)?
Or compliment them out of the blue, it costs nothing, and they’ll appreciate you noticing!
Or pick up some flowers or chocs next time you’re out – It is so simple – and then think about how much happiness it can bring.
Or pick a task they hate doing and do it for them: whether it be taking out the buns, cleaning, something they loathe and makes their day a little less stressful!
Something so small can bring a smile to your partner’s face when they least expect it, so why wouldn’t you want to do it once in a while?
It’s important to remember that it’s not always about putting in effort to please your partner. Improving your long-term love additionally means taking care of yourself: keep healthy, treat yourself occasionally, enjoy your extracurricular activities and experiences with friends and family. This will naturally improve your happiness as well.
Retain that passion for life. Life is about balance and continual growth, maintain your strength and confidence in yourself.
Combine these and you and your partner will reap the benefits!
At The Vida Consultancy, we provide clients with a unique approach, combining psychological principles and assessments with character-driven profiling, so let us find you the perfect person to have the spark with. We also understand that relationships require work, and with our coaching service, we know how it can feel to lose the spark. Working with many couples previously, we can provide further consultation into learning to communicate and rekindle the magic. Contact us to find out how we can support you on your journey to finding love.