7 Tips to Finding Your Very Own Real-Life Prince Charming – Courtesy of a Matchmaker

29 Jul

As a matchmaker at an elite international matchmaking consultancy, I’m not going to go telling you that putting in a little extra effort on Tinder will miraculously find you a dragon-slaying hunk with a mansion, a yacht and an inexplicable way of winning over your notoriously picky mom.

You grew up reading about prince charming, watching movies about him, fawning over cartoons of him. He was chiseled, dark, mysterious, chivalrous, confident.

Then… you grew up.

The problem with Prince Charming is… well, he doesn’t exist. He’s nothing but the figment of the imagination of little girls, right?

Well, yes… and no. As a matchmaker at an elite international matchmaking consultancy, I’m not going to go telling you that putting in a little extra effort on Tinder will miraculously find you a dragon-slaying hunk with a mansion, a yacht and an inexplicable way of winning over your notoriously picky mom.

What I can tell you is that women have a tendency to overstate what they are looking for – and look for men who simply aren’t there. But with a little rethinking – and perhaps a little curtailing of that vivid imagination – you may well be surprised at where and how you find your real-life prince charming.

Join a club or charity board

Is there anything sexier than a guy who is deeply passionate about something? By joining a society which nurtures a particular interest, hobby or charitable cause, you will meet likeminded people with whom you will not only connect on a deeper level due to your shared pastime but with whom you will already have common ground. If it is a charity, the guys there are likely to be philanthropic, sensitive and kind. And in the meantime…

Join a gym

It’s all very well meeting the prince of your dreams, but if he’s carrying a bit of a beer gut and could do with a push-up or two, you’re unlikely to dream about falling into his arms in the throes of passion. Joining a gym is hot – in both senses of the word. The environment is, dare I say, sensual, with endorphins bubbling and pheromones mixing. And what could be hotter than getting in shape surrounded by good-looking fellas pumping iron? Some guys might be too shy to approach, but don’t be afraid to make the first move yourself. Catch his eye, smile, say hi at the water cooler – you might be surprised just where it can lead.

Get off Tinder

Blasphemy, right? Well, we all know that you can’t summarize an entire life in 500 characters, so why would you expect this of a potential love interest on your screen? Real men live in the real world. They have lives, both social and professional, and your prince is unlikely going to be the kind of guy absentmindedly swiping through women on the off-chance of a one-night stand. And if you do see your prince out in the real world…?

Approach with confidence

If you see a guy you like the look of, who’s to say we have to stick with traditional gender roles and wait to be approached? If you’re an especially outgoing lady – or you’ve got a little Dutch courage in you – use your natural charisma and charm to win him over. Who knows, your confident demeaner might be exactly what turns him on! And just because he’s shy to start with, that doesn’t mean he’s not the life of the party under other circumstances. Relax, go with it – that first tentative hello is always the hardest.

It’s all about balance

So, you’re talking. Now what? Profess your undying love ten minutes into the first date? Wait 50 years before mentioning that you might have a thing for him? No. In love, as in life, it’s all about balance. Get to know each other, what the other wants, what they desire. Don’t put it all out there from the start – you need to balance being up-front with being just a little hard-to-get. Leaving some intrigue is sure to tantalize your potential prince and leave him wanting to see you again.

Evaluate your expectations

No-one is perfect. If you’re looking for a guy who ticks every box you can think of, you’ll be searching forever. We all have faults, flaws, failures even. You know that you have them yourself, so why would you expect any different of your prince? He’s not going to be someone who sails through life untainted, unhurt, resoundingly ideal in every imaginable way. He will have his foibles, but he’ll also be self-aware enough to know and accept them.

Your prince will live his life in a state of perpetual self-development, always looking to better himself and do the right thing. If you can find it in yourself to manage your expectations, you’ll be amazed at whom you find. When you think about it, you don’t really know anything about that guy in the office, or the guy you see every day as you queue for coffee. Attraction is a deep-rooted thing. The feeling of attraction will find you – you do not find it. Give people a chance to prove themselves to you – you’ll be surprised where attraction can spring from.

Be real

Whether it takes you two minutes or two hours to put on your face for an evening out, your real-life Prince Charming is interested ultimately not in what you look like on the outside, but in the quality of your character. That’s not to say he won’t fancy the pants off you, but love is not lust. At some point, you need to respect and like each other enough to want to spend time beyond the bedsheets. Being real entails knowing yourself and embracing the fact – there’s nothing more attractive than self-confidence.

 

What better place to start than with us?

Here at The Vida Consultancy, our enviable, unrivaled global network of singletons boasts some of the world’s most exceptional single gentlemen, both gay and straight. They come from many different backgrounds but all share one thing in common: they are ready to settle down with that special someone.

Whether you find him or your prince finds you, one thing’s for certain – it’s never going to be rooted in fairytale. Be pragmatic – make it happen. Get in touch with The Vida Consultancy – meet your very own Prince Charming tomorrow.

by Gina Yannotta

Chief Operating Officer, New York City.

Gina Yannotta is Head Matchmaker & Chief Operating Officer at Vida’s New York office. Gina’s unyielding passion for the field, in combination with her extensive experience in matchmaking, has allowed her to orchestrate successful and everlasting relationships amongst her clients. Tasked with running the Manhattan office, Gina utilizes her interpersonal skills and relationship expertise to make a splash in the matchmaking pool, personally connecting her clients with their ultimate match while simultaneously taking advantage of the endless possibilities that NYC offers to its client-base.More by this author