The Work-Love Balance: How to Find Romance in the City

03 Oct

It’s great to be busy, whether with work, travel or family – up to a point. But what are you to do when your hectic schedule – which in many ways exists directly because of your success – begins to hinder you from forging those all-important romantic connections?

Young adult couple in love during vacations.

City-goers are immensely busy people. Places such as New York and London are exciting, vibrant, buzzing hives of activity. But look a little closer, and you’ll find a lot of singletons yearning for something far more meaningful than a few casual dates and someone to warm their bed.

It’s great to be busy, whether with work, travel or family – up to a point. But what are you to do when your hectic schedule – which in many ways exists directly because of your success – begins to hinder you from forging those all-important romantic connections?

What’s more, highly populous cities mean more competition. Singletons will inevitably develop higher standards because, frankly, if you don’t shape up then someone else surely will. The game is tough and people know what they want.

However, as a matchmaker at one of the world’s leading dating consultancies, I can say with confidence – don’t worry. Even if you’re single and struggling to find love in the metropolis, there is hope out there.

Cities of singletons

In a sense, many New Yorkers and Londoners are in relationships already – with their careers. Subway, work, dinner, work, sleep – and repeat. Such is the cycle for a lot of city-going singletons, who often don’t work to live but live to work. For these people, dating represents a fight with their already-packed schedule.

A 2017 study found that 41% of Londoners classify themselves as single. In New York, almost half of households are occupied by singletons. And yet, when you’re looking for love in the city, it can feel like you’re the only singleton out there – especially when all your friends are cozily coupled up.

So who are these singletons who supposedly exist in your city, and where do these mythical creatures congregate?

Online dating

If you’re single and in the city, chances are you’ve tried online dating. From the point of view of a matchmaker, online dating has been a phenomenon, there’s no doubt about it. It has utterly revolutionized the dating scene beyond recognition – but at what cost?

Online dating can be time-consuming. It can sometimes be the case that, in order to get anything out of it, you need to spend at least two hours a day swiping, searching and interacting with fellow singletons before finding a potential date.

This really highlights one of the inherent drawbacks of online dating. You have no social history with this person, no context to your interaction other than that you live in the same place and are both looking for love – hardly a cocktail for magic.

Online dating means starting from scratch, and there are lots of unknowns as you dive headfirst into the turbulent throes of that first stage of courtship. Where do they stand on money, current affairs, politics? What are their values in a partner? What do they like doing in their spare time? And that’s before you can even begin to consider discussing such deal-breakers as family, marriage and kids.

Now before you go calling me a naysayer, listen up – online dating can work, and work wonders. There are stories on the daily about singletons who met online and are now living the lives of their dreams, in happy, long-term, fulfilling relationships, and I love reading these! I’m impressed with these people’s tenacity, their resilience, because it can be tough going.

But before pinning all your hopes on online dating, let me say this – get yourself out there first.

Meet like-minded people

Your time is precious, your most valuable commodity. Time-wasters and idle chat, flakiness and false hope – these are all things you simply do not need in your life. What I recommend is immersing yourself in whatever truly interests you. That way, you’re guaranteed to meet people with similar interests, goals and values to you. What are your hobbies, your pastimes, your passions?

Join a group with whom you already have some fundamental common ground, whether in a professional, recreational or voluntary sense. You can even break this goal down into manageable chunks: This month, I’ll go along to at least one group. If you’re motivated and open-minded, you might just be amazed at how often you come into contact with other singletons you feel that potent chemistry with.

Following this advice will bring you real benefits, there’s no doubt about that – but there is an alternative.

 

Matchmaking

There really is no way of finding the potential love of your life more effective than utilizing the services of a matchmaker. A matchmaker has a knack for understanding the nuances of every individual on their books, what that person is looking for, what they value most in a partner and a relationship. What’s more, a matchmaker knows exactly who would perfectly complement whom.

The Vida Consultancy are a multi-award-winning introductions agency, with offices in both London and New York. Our clients are international, driven, dynamic individuals who excel in their respective fields and seek nothing more than a partner to share their life with. Vida have a unique approach to love, combining psychological expertise with business know-how in a personable framework that has seen us attain an 85% success rate, unmatched in the industry.

If you are looking for love in the city and want to find your ultimate partner, contact The Vida Consultancy today and let us turn that dream into a reality.

by Gina Yannotta

Chief Operating Officer, New York City.

Gina Yannotta is Head Matchmaker & Chief Operating Officer at Vida’s New York office. Gina’s unyielding passion for the field, in combination with her extensive experience in matchmaking, has allowed her to orchestrate successful and everlasting relationships amongst her clients. Tasked with running the Manhattan office, Gina utilizes her interpersonal skills and relationship expertise to make a splash in the matchmaking pool, personally connecting her clients with their ultimate match while simultaneously taking advantage of the endless possibilities that NYC offers to its client-base.More by this author